The policy, defended by USFWS as a necessary step to protect the threatened Northern Spotted Owl, aims to remove the more dominant Barred Owl, an eastern species that has invaded the Pacific Northwest and outcompeted its smaller cousin. Officials claim the plan is vital to prevent extinction — but Kennedy wasn’t buying it. Standing before a large photograph depicting Elmer Fudd and two owl species, he tore into the policy with the kind of humor that makes headlines: “This is DEI for owls — diversity, equity, and inclusion gone wild,” he quipped. “They’re literally putting quotas on owls.”
According to the senator, the very idea of deciding which species deserves to live and which should die is “the definition of arrogance.” He argued that no federal agency has the right to interfere with nature’s own laws of survival, calling the plan “fundamentally misguided.” What drew even more shock was his description of how the policy would be executed — officials would reportedly lure the Barred Owls with calls before shooting them. Kennedy’s blunt reaction? “This isn’t science. It’s stupidity wrapped in bureaucracy.”
But Kennedy didn’t stop there. He underscored the staggering cost of the project — $1.35 billion — calling it “a masterclass in how to burn taxpayer money.” In his typical Louisiana drawl, he mocked the logic behind the spending: “If stupidity were dirt, Washington would be a mountain.” The senator pointed out that even if the plan worked temporarily, it would ultimately fail because the owls would just come back once the expensive removal operation ended. “We’ll be right back where we started — only billions poorer,” he said.
The senator’s comments instantly went viral, sparking heated debate on social media and in newsrooms nationwide. Hashtags like #OwlGate and #KennedyVsTheOwls began trending as Americans reacted to both the absurdity and the cost of the plan. Environmental activists were divided — some defended the project as a last resort to save the Northern Spotted Owl, while others agreed with Kennedy, calling it a “vanity mission” that ignored natural evolution.
Kennedy, however, doubled down. In his press release, he vowed to force a Senate vote to overturn the measure using the Congressional Review Act, a rare move that could block the USFWS policy entirely. “Who appointed them God?” he demanded, referencing the officials behind the plan. His final jab left reporters stunned: “By the time this is over, those owls will be as dead as Jimmy Hoffa.”
Behind the humor and sarcasm, Kennedy’s speech struck a deeper chord — one that questioned the role of government in managing nature itself. To him, the plan wasn’t just wasteful — it was morally wrong, bureaucratically bloated, and scientifically questionable. “Let nature do what nature does best,” he concluded.
As the Senate braces for a showdown over S.J.Res. 69, one thing is certain: John Kennedy has turned an obscure environmental policy into a national debate — and reminded Washington that even in politics, sometimes the truth flies in on silent wings.
